Eventually, I concluded that I must be dreaming, though this dream was far more real and tangible then any I can remember having in the past. Okay, I thought. If I just wake myself up, then I can get out of whatever wacky place I was in at the moment. I started pinching myself, which did not work and only made my skin red and tingly. 

​

“Ow!” I said out loud. Pinching myself felt just as real as it always had. But this place couldn’t possibly be real, could it? How had I gotten here? Why was I here? How do I get out?  

​

I felt trapped. The storm clouds in the distance swirled ever more, a vicious dance that seemed to mock my futile efforts of escape. Involuntarily, I sank to the ground and hugged my legs close to my chest, trying to close my eyes and wish it all away. To will myself to wake up. 

​

I heard movement in front of me. I opened my eyes and saw a tall, hooded man, leaning against the tree trunk. I stood up to get a better look at him, but it seemed like his face was blurry, or out of focus. It’s like his very visage was perplexing to my mind.  

​

I was bursting with questions, but I wasn’t sure if this person was a friend or foe yet. Cautiously, I spoke. “Who…who are you? Where am I? Am I dreaming? How do I get out of here?” My voice rose with increasing panic. Instead of responding, he pointed to his mouth and shook his head. “Oh,” I said. “You can’t speak?” The hooded man nodded his head enthusiastically, happy that he was able to communicate that to me. “Look,” I said. “I don’t know where I am or how I got here, but I need to get out. Please.” Without speaking, the hooded figure pointed towards the storm off in the distance. “I have to go there?” I said. He nodded again, one solemn nod this time.  

​

The storm looked so far away, so uninviting. I would rather do anything else than go into it. But, then again, I had tried waking myself up already, to no success. Surely this had to be some kind of dream, there is no way a place like this could actually exist. Even so, it seemed like my only choice at the moment was to do what the man said. 

​

Looking down from the hill, I noticed a dirt path carved out in the grass, lined with cobblestone. Whatever this place was, it was obviously guiding me towards that storm. I traced the path with my eyes and noticed, just beyond the deserted playground, a last remnant of familiarity, was a…thing. I couldn’t quite describe its physical form, because it didn’t seem to have one exactly. It seemed corporeal in nature, a being made of clung together mist. Just looking at it sent shivers down my spine, urging me to look away. 

“I have to go down there?” I said to my hooded companion. He nodded again and gestured towards the path. Gathering my courage, I started walking down the hill, gradually approaching the abhorrent creature on the other side of the park. I tried to reassure myself that nothing bad would happen to me, that this was just a dream. My dream. But even so, I couldn’t escape a horrible feeling that this was not a normal place and did not abide by normal rules.  

​

The closer I got to the monster, the stronger the urge to look away became. I just could not look directly at it, it was so fundamentally repulsive. I could hear it though. I could hear its angry, inhuman breathing. I could feel its destructive energy charging the air around me. And the smell, a rotting putrid odor that filled my nostrils with every breath. How was I supposed to get past this? This wasn’t something I could run from or hide from. I had no hope of challenging it head on. Even so, I had to try something. I was not going to let myself be trapped in this place. 

​

Without looking up from the ground, I could tell that I had reached the spot where the monster inhabited. I had to figure something out, soon. Suddenly, a voice boomed all around me. It seemed to be projected dead center of my mind, the sinister words of this creature etched directly onto the surface of my brain. 

​

HAVE YOU COME TO CHALLENGE ME.  

​

Its voice snarled and crackled with fierce guttural intensity. It was a simple question, but it took a while for me to answer back. What if something were to happen to me? What if I couldn’t beat this thing, this monstrosity? Maybe I should just turn back and sit by the tree and find another way to wake up. Though I knew, deep down, there wasn’t another way.  

​

With a heavy breath, I uttered my simple response to its simple question, in a voice much quieter and less sure of itself than that of my foe.  

​

“Yes.”  

​

I felt the ground shake as the monster lunged at me. Instinctively I dodged to the right and found myself unharmed. Even though I couldn’t get a good look, I could tell that it was much bigger than me, and moved slower than me. I could use that to my advantage. But I still had to tackle the problem of actually hurting it, especially since I couldn’t really look at it without feeling repulsed. 

​

The ground shook again. I could tell the monster was winding up for another attack. I dodged again to the left, only to find myself flung back several yards by a powerful blow. I landed with a heavy thud, with the wind knocked completely out of my lungs. My ribs felt bruised, but other than that I felt alright. I didn’t know how many more of those hits I could take though.  

​

The ground shook even harder. It was chasing me. Panicked, I looked around my surroundings for something to use as a weapon. There was nothing but dirt, grass, and trees. All useless. Severely panicking now, I started to crawl backwards to escape, wishing desperately I had anything to use against this beast. I would not let it get me, let it destroy me.  

​

As soon I had thought that, I felt it. My hand was clutched around something, something heavy. I looked down and saw that I was holding a sword, glinting keenly in the sunlight. How? I asked myself. Though that didn’t matter. I had a weapon now. I had a means of defending myself. I got up and rushed forward, towards the monster. I felt the familiar rush of air signaling an incoming blow and dodged at the very last second to slash the monster’s near-intangible ankles. It let out a bloodcurdling inhuman screech that curled every hair on my body, but it didn’t stop me from slashing again, and again in a vicious rage. Suddenly, I was pushed backwards. 

​

ENOUGH. 

​

I was engulfed in total blackness. This creature had enveloped me, somehow. I could see nothing, not even my own body in front of me. Not that it mattered, because I couldn’t move my arms, my legs, or anything. I was paralyzed by my own fear.  

​

I tried in vain to kick start my mind again and move. I could feel the creature stalking me, knowing that I had been beaten. It relished in my submission and was taking its time to reach me. Struggling, I regained some sensation in my feet, but before I could test it I was met with a crushing blow from above, pinning me directly to the ground. 

​

Still unable to move, all I could feel was the sensation of the creature’s limb on my windpipes. I couldn’t get up. I couldn’t do anything. I was useless.  

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The ground beneath me rippled and changed. I was in my room at home. Back in my bed. I still couldn’t move. Standing over me, the monster had taken a new form, one of my own reflection, its/my hand pressing hard down on my chest.  

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STAY PUT. It spoke in an inhuman mixture being my own voice and its previous one. 

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THERE IS NO REASON TO STAND. NO REASON TO KEEP FIGHTING. ONLY PAIN WILL COME FROM THAT. GIVE UP. 

​

I struggled against it, but it was in vain. I couldn’t do anything. It was exceptionally strong, and even if I managed to move, what was the point? It would beat me down again. I was trapped. My breathing started to quicken. In twice. Out three times. In. Out. In. Out Inout. Inout. Inout. Going faster and faster and faster. 

And then I realized. I had been here before. I knew what this monster was. I knew what I was fighting. I had been fighting it for years. Ever since I realized the truth about my life. Maybe even before that. Though this time, I wouldn’t be able to get through it if I just laid down and wished it away. I hadn’t realized it, but I was tired of this. I was tired of letting this get the best of me. How dare this pathetic, worthless, unwanted thing take me away from living my life. Before now, I had nothing to defend myself with, and no will to even try. This creature had made the mistake of giving itself a form. This was the time to fight back.  

​

My anger gave me an edge. I moved my free arm and grabbed the creature’s hand, pulling it away from my chest with more force then I thought possible. Surprised, the creature let its guard down, and I used that moment of advantage to take my other hand, still clutching the sword, and plunge it deep into the creature’s chest.  

​

My reflection let out a scream of pain all too familiar to me, as my bedroom started to melt away. Just before it did, I saw the true face of this monster for a split second, an inhuman abomination to be sure, but a face that wasn’t exactly evil. It seemed like it was in pain. And then it was gone. It was over. I was left standing alone in the dirt path, a wave of relief washing over me.